Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We had to coat check the pizza.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
