I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
