he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize