I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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