My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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