I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
These tits shall not be calmed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
