I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
