listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
