So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
