That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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