arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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