It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
