I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
