I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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