i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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