this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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