girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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