im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
