my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize