Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
