i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
