Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
