I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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