Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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