Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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