You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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