You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
