If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
