do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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