ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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