She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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