My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
