I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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