I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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