The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
