its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
