the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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