Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
