my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
