How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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