great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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