A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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