I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
it was like eating out sand paper
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
