Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
