yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
