You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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