Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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