Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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