honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
