i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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