You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
