Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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