Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
