I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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