i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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