An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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