DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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