you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Terrible idea I love it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
