this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
