But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
