just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
