Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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